BIG FAT NEGATIVE :o(

I was so good... I didn't even test until 9DPO (days-past-ovulation)... I resisted the urge.. but was it worth it..? did it pay off..?

No.

BFN (Big-Fat-Negative!).

I thought perhaps I was just too early, so I made a promise to myself not to test, until Sunday morning (being today).

I thought for sure, if I just waited that extra couple of days it would pay off and it'd give my body that extra time.

I'd been so positive about the whole thing, even saying to C on Tuesday (yep, that early!) that I just 'felt' pregnant. I didn't know what it was. But I truly 'felt' pregnant.

I liked to call it intuition.

Alas, it wasn't to be.

I tested again this morning. Another BFN. AGAIN.

THIS SUX.

I'd love to be able to say I'm still feeling positive about it all, but the truth is, it's slowly dwindling.. every time I get a BFN, I walk out with less & less positivity.

It's so hard. I try to stay positive, I really do. But I guess the universe decides at the end of the day, doesn't it... and this month must not be my month.

I just WISH the universe would KNOW this IS the RIGHT TIME, and how much we crave, want, & long for a bubba of our own..!!!

We did everything... we BD'd EVERY day over a 6 day window, we used the OV Watch, pre-seed, I even lied on the side afterwards, to try to give the swimmers that chance of swimming around due to my retroverted uterus.

I really thought this was our month!

I even had the 'symptoms' for the past few days, and felt what I have thought imlpantation cramping. This feeling is different to period pain, it's a weird sorta feeling I can't explain, sorta like a 'pushy' feeling.. and a 'stabbing' feeling if I move the wrong way.

Perhaps it was just all in my head? I'm so sure it wasn't, but what could it have been if not implantation? Perhaps implantation trying to happen? I really thought it was bubs settling in for the ride.. & yesterday morning I had what I thought was even a bit of nausea & MS, with a tight throat, and spacey head..

Oh well, just goes to show, all the 'symptoms' in the world doesn't guarantee a BFP.

Lesson learnt.

Over & out.

:o( :o( :o(